When your daughter gets married, there are several emotional hurdles that you will have to work through so as to preserve an excellent relationship with your daughter and her new husband, your son-in-law. Your entire life has modified with the addition of a brand new member of your loved ones who has captivated your daughter's affections and brought her out of your home.
These emotional hurdles include releasing the duty you have had for her life and feeling displaced because of it. Both of you, her mother and father, might need some worry mixed in there when you realize that someone else will be taking your daughter's consideration away from her family and seeing to her safety and comfort.
The answer is to construct an excellent, steady relationship with your son-in-law and shortly make him a real member of your family. Make plans to spend time with him alone. Find a common interest you both have and find methods for the two of you to share that interest and become friends.
Search for what your daughter sees in him, all the good issues that made her fall in love with him. Don't count on him to be the same man you are. You're her father and he's her husband. Do not make the mistake of treating him like one of your children. He's a married man with opinions, objectives and experiences you do not have.
In the event you're the mother-in-law, you may be worrying that your special relationship with your daughter might be dissolved. At the same time, your daughter's new mother-in-law will be worrying that your daughter won't care for her son the way she did for all of his life. Both moms is perhaps tied up with actual reminiscences of their little one as they grew up. Loss and insecurity will likely be on your minds continually until you both learn to appreciate the new spouse in your lives.
Don't deal with your son-in-law like one of your children. When he married your daughter, he modified her relationship with you. They both are adults and completely involved with starting their life the way they want to live it. Think again to when you got married and keep in mind that you had the same issues and involvement in starting your married life the way in which you wished to live it.
One approach to ease the transition in your family picture is to be friendly with your son-in-law's parents. Invite them to dinner once in a while or to a family picnic or barbecue. Include them in birthday events and holiday festivities. Accept return invites from them. All of you are interested of their welfare and all of you feel the same fears and uncertainties. Sharing insights and childhood reminiscences of each of your children with one another will bridge any gap that might have existed between your two families.
In case you are the new son-in-law, you need to be aware that your father-in-law must know that you will take care of his daughter and will treat her with real love and respect. Get to know your in-laws as real individuals in your new family. Respect their differences and concerns. Ask for their recommendation when you want it and comply with it. Don't let disagreements fester until they develop into an issue to your marriage.
Both the newlyweds must spend time with their very own mother and father and siblings. That does not imply that all free time and weekends have to be spent together with your family. You need to build a life with each other. For instance, do not just stop doing something you always shared with your father or mother. It might be a good idea to plan one weekend a month for household traditions. One day could be spent alone with each set of parents and the other day might be spent with both sets of parents together, like at dinner at your house.
To start with, your family relationships will likely be tentative as each side checks the boundaries and changes. It's normal and will ease as all of you get used to each other.
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